A Social Experiment in Texting Reveals the Not So Shocking Truth That We Are Slaves to Technology, Some Phones Are Better Than Others, And Men Love Sandwiches.

Posted by: T-Rant on October 22nd, 2009

One day, weeks and weeks ago, I was sitting around in a bar with the lovely Hope, and our friend Annika. Something was in the air that night, and we all seemed to be stressed out about our respective love interests. Small mention of this was made, and then we moved on to discussing important topics like solving the financial crisis and achieving world peace. We totally had that all figured out, by the way.

Anyhow, mention of our relationship woes did not really become evident until a text came in. The girl receiving it said “Oh, listen to THIS” and recited the text. Since we had several beers in us, and as ladies do, we all voiced an opinion on how to respond to the text. “Oh Yeah? Well I would say THIS”. “No, say THIS”. Of course the girl who received the text would never respond in such a manner. Certainly she would not tell the guy he’s a bastard and to go to hell. And perhaps the safety in knowing this made “Whatever bastard, go to hell” a perfectly reasonable message to say should be sent.

Which got us to thinking….while none of us in reality probably would have sent a nasty message like that, each of us would have responded differently to the incoming text. Particularly, the two of us who did not have intimate details of the relationship, or events leading up to the text. What would happen if a different girl, other than the recipient, replied to the text in whatever way she saw fit? Would the guy on the other end be able to tell by the language or nature of the response that it was someone else? Would the relationship go in a completely different direction as a result (for better, or for worse)? And not just him, everyone in the phone…what would happen if we SWITCHED PHONES for a day and started firing off text messages to everybody in the phonebook? Would long abandoned friendships be rekindled? Would people reveal unexpected things? Would anyone even notice? And thus, a plan was hatched…

A series of emails went on between us girls, all pledging our devotion and enthusiasm for the plan. Yes, yes we would switch phones. Man, this was going to be great! One of us even admitted that she had ADDED numbers to her phone in an effort to instigate more intriguing responses. Certain numbers were put on a no-call list, like business contacts and coworkers. I temporarily deleted my landlord. And yet, despite all of this activity, it became quickly evident that nobody was in any real hurry to actually relinquish her phone. I think of Charlton Heston here; “you’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands…”

Sure, plans were made on several occasions for the swap to take place, but between the three of us, something always managed to come up. That was the first noteworthy thing to come of the experiment. Living without your phone for 24 hours, unless you are going on vacation and removed from your day to day life, is fairly daunting. I don’t even like talking on the phone. In fact, I actively despise it. But in New York, you just need a cell phone on you at all times. People are on the go too much, and If for nothing else, you need it as a locator device – ie: “Train running late. Will meet you on 14^th instead?”, “Where are you? I am amidst a huge crowd”. The thought of not having my own phone and the contacts within it, nor the ability to explain the situation, almost seemed like house arrest. And of course, there was a part of me that was a little nervous about what would transpire. To some degree, I was secretly thrilled when the swap had to be put off due to someone needing their phone for work or whatever. It literally took weeks before we all agreed on a day to go through with it.

But alas, the day finally came. Annika got Hope’s phone. I have no idea what make or model Hope’s phone is, but imagine something circa 2001 with an antenna. She got the phone from a friend after she lost a couple of iphones, and this was an old piece of crap her friend had sitting around, abandoned since he joined the 21^st century. Hope got my phone, a new Samsung Behold with touch screen. I got Annika’s iPhone. The rules were simple; nobody could intentionally send a rude or hurtful message, nobody could reveal their true identity, and of course that meant nobody could answer any calls. If calls came in, or there were any type of emergency, we would pass the information along to the owner of the phone.

I did not get Annika’s phone until fairly late in the evening, so the first thing I became aware of was that I did not feel comfortable sending out texts at that hour, not knowing her relationship to the people in her phonebook. I didn’t want to be responsible for sending a message to her grandmother at midnight to ask about the weather.

Another very obvious first impression was just getting used to a different phone. Both Hope and I sat there, fumbling and cursing with our respective ‘new’ phones. Hope hated my phone, and I was having a really hard time texting on Annika’s - my phone is sensitive enough to text with my fingernail. Hers wants actual flesh, and every other word was misspelled as a result of my fingertip spilling onto the wrong letter. The iPhone also hated my apartment and got terrible reception. Messages kept getting send failures and it got to be very annoying. The beauty of the iPhone though, is how it keeps a running dialog of all texts back and forth on the same screen. No switching to the outbox to see what was sent. That’s a very nice feature – why don’t ALL phones do that???. Upon completion of the experiment, Annika said her thumbs were sore from texting on Hope’s phone. I didn’t expect for the phone interface to be such a big deal (although I was mentally crossing my fingers not to get Hope’s phone, just for lack of touch screen), but all three of us concluded at the end that it was actually a major detractor to the fun. We really missed our own phones, and our familiarity with them.

And now for the moment you have all been waiting for…. What happened? Did hilarity ensue? Were lives changed? Did anything interesting at all actually happen?

The answer is: Kind of, but not really. I think we all agreed that it was at times amusing, but more than anything else, we all found it to be unexpectedly stressful. There really is a fair amount of trust involved. As Annika put it, we kind of became ambassadors for each other’s lives. I also did not expect to feel guilt. One of the first messages that I sent off as Annika was seemingly harmless. “Do you have any good soup recipes?” I asked. The response was immediate: “You’re kidding, right? I am the SOUP UNCLE” Well, I hit the nail on the head in terms of subject, but I thought I was texting a female…was this actually her uncle? I was confused, and not sure I wanted to talk to her uncle. “ Great, send me your favorite recipe”, I said. The next text I got said “Where are you starting from? Do you have your ingredients? Call me!” So now, not only did this person want a phone call, but they were ecstatic that I had asked about soup. I made up an excuse as to why it was inconvenient to call right then and felt bad. I feel like this person will be really disappointed if Annika does not want to pursue soup making with them.

I also felt pretty weird about replying to a text from Annika’s mom. It somehow just felt wrong…

My neighbor across the street called my phone several times and became fairly irate that I wasn’t picking up or returning calls. After a series of unanswered calls and texts, Hope apparently texted her that I was at a bar, and when I updated my status on Facebook, she sent me a message via computer asking how I was logging into facebook from a bar. Hope also texted a guy in my phone and asked him if he had seen the news. He didn’t have me in his phone and had no idea who sent him the text, so he started repeatedly calling, never to be answered.

One of the funnier ones was from Annika, acting as Hope. She texted some guy and asked how he was doing. He responded immediately with all kinds of details about his punishment for a DUI. I think that caught Annika off guard, but it sounds like they had a nice, lengthy text conversation, and he seemed really happy to hear from “Hope”.

Hope, acting as me, texted someone requesting the recipe for a Hot Toddy. She was sitting in a bar and wanted one but the bartender didn’t know how to make it. I don’t think I have ever sent that person a text before, but he happily gave up a recipe, and the bartender made the drink and gave it to Hope for free! Win!

Hope pointed out afterward that we all took different approaches to our texts. Annika played it safe and just asked people how they were doing. Hope asked questions that required specific answers, like “How is the weather?” or “Where were you when the Challenger blew up?” And while I asked a few questions, I also sent statements that I thought might get a response, such as “I am learning how to play the banjo!” I told Annika’s cousin, who is a shoemaker, that I saw Barbara Streisand on the street and she was wearing clogs. Apparently the thought of that horrible image made his day. Of course these events were complete lies fabricated to test believability and reactions. I think it’s interesting that I was the only one to just make stuff up. Does this hint to a more sinister side of me? I told one woman listed under Margarita that I had had five margaritas in honor of her, complete with misspellings. She replied that that was uncharted territory for her and to “be very cautious”… Uh-oh, is Margarita in fact a senior citizen teetotaler? Who is was this woman, and what had I done?!

But all and all, the results were fairly tame. The only lingering casualty so far is a mutual friend of ours. Acting as Annika, I asked him “You, me, Hoagies?” He told me to come over and make hoagies at 2:00 the next day. I don’t think Annika regularly texts him or would make impromptu plans with him, so I figured he was just going along with it, not actually expecting for hoagie eating to go down. Being as I know who this person is, I felt more candid and less nervous about my imposter status. I told him I would purchase some exotic meats, and that I was excited about it. I told him to get some potato chips ready. ..

As it turns out, he really did believe that Annika was going to show up at his house and make him a hoagie, and was quite disappointed the next day when it didn’t happen. He felt betrayed, and called me when he found out the truth behind the texts to tell me never to come between a man and his stomach. He then had the nerve to follow up the phone call with a text listing the ingredients he would like on the hoagie that I now ‘owe him’… nice.

While there were some funny exchanges here and there, I think what stuck out most was just kind of a lingering unease about writing on someone else’s behalf. While there was an urge to keep conversation going, it was almost coupled with a sense of ‘getting in too deep’. In fact, if a scenario like the beginning of the story had happened, where a significant other sent a text dealing with any kind of personal issue, I don’t think any of us would have actually responded on behalf of that girl. I think that this experiment would only produce extreme high quality fun if the person who’s phone we had were either a nemesis, or a completely anonymous person. It would have been fun to run some type of elaborate scavenger hunt type thing and see if I could get people to pick up various items and have them “meet me” in various inconvenient locations, but that would cause all sorts of trouble.

Truth be told, I think it only took a few hours before we all just really wanted our phones back and to get on with our own lives. It will be interesting to see if there are any after effects. Will my friends start treating me like an athletic supporter as a result of Hope asking them who would win the game? Will Annika live down her new obsession with Rod Stewart? Will Hope and her friend mend fences as a result of Annika’s cheerful texts?

Annika did tell me that the next day her friend sent her a couple of texts to ask which movie I had suggested they watch together. As a result, she ended up calling him and said they talked for quite a while. “It was good catching up with him.”